Yup, I haven’t posted forever.
Whatever, I just roll with the punches.
I went on my first date a few weeks ago.
It was the sadies dance, and it was a dress up dance.
We went as woody and Jesse.
It was fun.
I have a story about it on EP, I might have to transfer it over here.
Anyways, I wanted to talk today.
It was pi day today, and it was ok.
I woke up late without even knowing what I was going to wear (because I had worn 5+ outfits all week, and I didn’t want to set up expectations) so I wore my t-shirt with the black capris (they are my sisters, but they are 13, and they will have 5 more years to rack up comfy and functional clothes, I have less than a year).
I thought i was going to be late, as the bell rang when I was driving into the parking lot…..but I wasn’t.
Surprisingly, I was the third one there.
We had a test in gov’t, luckily I stayed up until 1 am last night studying.
Now before you assume I’m all dedicated and I study all the time….I don’t.
I study the night before/day of the test.
The reason I stayed up so late:
So, by the time I remembered to study, I had 30 min, and I took quizzes online to see what I knew.
I got a 97%, I missed 1.
I could have had 100% on it, had I followed my intuition. (I seriously typed that 3 times over because I had caps lock on @ the time).
I was a little bit prideful because I got the highest grade in the class.
Sorry, one of the few times. (emphasis must be place, few is a word that can be varied and changed, haha)
So, I went to seminary feeling good.
At the same time, I felt weird because in certain classes I can look like whatever and be good and in some classes I have to look good. Gov’t is one of those classes that I feel weird if I don’t have a cute outfit on. But I survived, just a little bit shy, not too bad.
Oh, and haha, we had a free response question, and I was feeling creative.
SOOOOOOO, I wrote on the front and back side of the page.
It was fun, I made it rhyme and everything.
Anyways, seminary was boring.
Aside from a big scare.
Ok, so I am autistic. I have come to terms with that. I’m not hugely enough, but if you knew the warning signs, and saw mybehavior and studied it, you could recognize it.
I am fine with that because i have habituated myself enough so that I am semi-normal and I am constantly working on my social skills.
I use to be great @ it, then ALLOF THE SUDDEN, I don’t understand how to.
I say filler words, I have awkward pauses, I mumble, I don’t talk loud enough (or the converse) and I speak too quick. I thought that was just native to autism (because it is a social disease right).
Well, in seminary (be warned, I am very blunt, and if you get offended easily, don’t read this, because I don’t know if this is mean or not, but this is how I feel, so I am just recognizing my feelings) we have a disabled girl……mentally.
Idk what she has. One day when I was feeling particularly bold and stupid, I asked if she had autism. My teacher just gave me this weird, Nooooooo. I felt AWFUL.
So, the scare.
You know how I use filler words…….
Guess who else uses them, that girl.
The same ones.
Like oh my gosh, and more.
I FREAKED OUT inside my head.
Because when I have friends, I start to imitate them, in how they laugh(thus my snort), and things they say (I’m bored, haha, wow).
She is WAY more handicapped than me. Like, with her, you can tell that she is, obviously. It takes work to find my diagnosis out.
I am not trying to say that she is a subordinate, but I don’t respect her for her specking skills because people just baby her (I do too) and that’s where she gets it from. It wasn’t from her actually trying.
But, I DON’T want to become her. I sit by her, and thus she is sometimes the only one i can talk to, and it SO frustrates me.
Of course I want to be nice and everything, but I don’t want to backtrack on what work I have done verbally and socially.
Idk what to do, luckily, I can express myself here, and MANY other places on the internet. Kinda like a diary, but not. (There are some things the internet will never know, haha, I sound like an evil mastermind.)
Wo. I am typing fast(I think it is because I am on the NEW new computer).
I got in trouble with my little sis for that, because I should be confined to the other one, even though I was already on this.
Thing is, though, when I got up, she didn’t get up and get on it.
Hey, wait, i was telling about my day.
So, I took the seminary test(75 scripture mastery) and I missed 1.
I called it a couple of days ago.
I knew it would have happened, it does every year.
Call me psychic, or call me experienced.
We got stuff done, and that class was over.
Fun-de-done!!! (I like that, I am SO keeping that!)
Sign was pretty boring, just, you guessed it, signing. (Wow! That was a surprise).
Though I did feel a little awkward because yesterday I blew up over a marker. (long story).
Other than that, it was questions and stuff.
But I did talk about my marathon (it’s my only plans for summer, I’m gonna die!!!!!)
People were impressed.
Yup, I’m good like that.
I went to math for lunch, and a few streamers were on the ceiling, and cans on the ground, and pies on the table.
I told Mr. Hansen that I was going to have a pie @ exactly 12:30, he was astonished, then I told him that my mom was going to bring it.
Oh, but sucky thing happened.
So, I have a “friend” in my math and seminary class.
She stopped sitting by me in math (we can choose), and she said it was to see the board.
Foolishly, I believed.
Yet, today, we were in squares, and I put my backpack kitty corner to her.
She moved tables.
I was like “what the hack?!” inside.
I should have expected it (idk why, what did I do to her?)
But, I stood around awkwardly for a few minutes and then went to get my pie @ 12:25.
I was “playing” a metal box like a drum.
The first people (2 girls) there, walked away.
Then, a guy walking by was jamming to it, and I felt better.
Then I found out that it was a black box or whatever, when the worker came to fidget with it.
Haha, that was weird.
Then this one guy came, and stood nearby and started jamming, and I was the MOST AWKWARD PERSON YOU HAVE EVER SEEN.
Lol, I actually did laugh there,
He started tapping actually, and I was like “what do I do with this?”
So I smiled, kept beating, he looked at me in the corner of his eye, I said peace and left.
Then I waited for my mom.
Thing is, she said to be there @ EXACTLY 12:30…..it was 12:31.
She came @ 12:32.
With a pie that was weird. (oreo-wise)
I got kinda mad @ her, and she yelled kinda back.
Anyways, after that embarrassment in front of who knows who, I went back to math class.
Some girls were there, and that other person was there.
THEN, she started interrogating me about my eating habits.
If you know me, you know that I more than happy to answer questions about my diet.
I have to give her some credit, she was persistent and in ingenuitive in ways to annoy me. (Btw, that word, is not a word, but it should be).
Finally, I mean FINALLY, it was time for class.
I brought oreo pie, and that was my saving grace. (Because our class is lame, 1 person brought a pie, 1 person a cake, and 1 person cookies). That’s about it. Sad, I know.
This one guy was Really happy about that.
Everyone loved it, it was gone when I came back after 5th hour.
We played Trigo (which my teacher claimed that he invented).
I got to sit with all my friends in there, and we had a table of 7….to 8 .
It was SO nice, that same guy saw that this other guy was sitting all by himself, so he invited him over (I mean, first he had to figure his name out[ I didn’t know either, so I don’t really have the right to criticize])but it was really nice.
Wait, I can’t say oh my gosh, ummmmmmm, Wo,
Trigo was, unfair, and fair.
First of all, we weren’t supposed to cheat.
Our entire table told each other (now that’s the kind of teamwork I like, haha) all the values (mostly).
AND, they even stood up for me.
When I accidentally yelled Trigo (when I thought i had it, and if I didn’t, I would be out), they said that I didn’t say it.
That put a smile on my face. =)
But what wad lame was my luck.
Our table had 4 winners. (and there were 2 or 3 others from various tables).
I wasn’t one of them.
I was SO close sometimes
Yet, I am over it, but it still sucks.
What was really lame/funny:
I heard something someone said in class.
It sounded like Mr. Hamster.
LOL, I said it out loud.
My teacher started slamming me about my fiber ones and trigo incident.
Wow, but whatever.
But it is a good name.
Lol, that was good.
I went to Brit Lit, and surprisingly, it was a bad day.
Well, @ first, I went in there and the guy who I think likes me (we’ll call him C) said Hey, and I said Sup, and then he said hows it going, and I said, good you, and I said hapy pie day, and we got interrupted.
Now, while that sounds like a REALLY deep conversation, it is better than what I had just overcome.
Because normally, when he says hows it going, I say Sup.
I could almost guarantee it to ya.
But today, I got it right.
I’m not sure if he likes me or not, and you’ll see why later.
But that class sucked because we didn’t get knighted today, and we only got lickrish(not spelled right, I know) for our effort.
Thing is, Idk if I can eat that, so I denied.
Then, we worked on outlines.
She was going around the room, and writing the paper for some people…basically.
So, She was about to get to me.
Then, C, jumps to the empty seat on my left (someone sits on the right), so he can go before.
But, I didn’t get that @ first.
I thought he wanted to sit by me, after all, the other guy in there (who is SUPER hot, and smart, and cool, and awesome….we’ll call him C2) who I like, sat by one of my friends because they were friends from another class. I had a class with C before, so I thought he wanted my help or something.
I was heartbroken, ok, maybe a little bit over-dramatic, but I was a little bit sad.
I hope C2 didn’t see my face.
One thing did go good, I was freaking out about having to write my outline in class (because I TYPE those things, NOT write, I suck whenI just free write), and we didn’t have to since she only got to about half the class.
But, as I was biking home, I remembered something unhappy, and similarly happy.
I HAVE to stay home during spring break…with my family.
I am going to die fighting for computers and freedom.
Yet, it is my last Spring Break @ home, which made me REALLY happy!!!
I got home, and got online.
I was in a crappy mood, and I found a site which gave me awesome free (truly free) songs, for posting on my twitter.
That led me to read that, because I have had a Twitter longer than I had fb.
I read that, and realized that I had grown and progressed in a lot of things.
I went on a first date, Pr-ed in the turkey trot, got an fb, let my brother go on a mission, and started training for a marathon.
So, I have grown up, and that made me happy, and grateful.
Then I found a REALLY cools site where you could write a letter to your future self.
And of COURSE I took a hold of that opportunity.
then I remembered this place, and I really had an urge to write.
So, I FINALLY wrote everything down, and I have put down over 2000 word already.
Well, I gotta go, that tells my day.
Oh, and there was an earthquake this morning in Japan apparently.
Luckily I live in a desert.
Oh, and I just felt like sharing that I am really scared about my food situation.
It seems like every food is the enemy.
My only constituents (btw, I like throwing random big words into my writing to sound smarter, when in reality, I probably don’t know what it means) are beans, potatoes, rice, bannanas, popcorn, apples, fiber ones, cashews, and tillamook cheese.
For now anyways.
Everything reminds me of grossness, and it is driving me CRAZY.
I honestly might try to see a hypnotist when I go to college.
That’s how much it scares me.
Idk, you know what, Idk if I should say what is freaking me out. ihht esi. If I can decode that in the future, then I will know. HAHAHAHAHAHA. I am AWESOME. =)
I like making up codes, that’s why I LOVE ASL.
That’s why when this gril said that she “just took” ASL, I was shocked.
I’ve been trying to make up languages since I was in elementary school. (mostly to communicate to my friends, but now, I use ASL to myself when I am mad. Or on other people who don’t know it, haha, that is always the best, they are so out of it).
Anyways, I probably should be done writing n0w, but I really want to get to 2500 words, I am currently @ 2475.
I guess anyways.
I really, really, really want to get to there.
So I will type meaningless stuff until I do.
Where am I ?