Just another WordPress.com weblog

(BTW, I posted this on a different blog since this one was down @ the time).

 

Have you ever noticed a pattern to life? You know, not the whole scheme, but every day? I have. Guess what? It’s not pretty. Or is it? Good, bad, medium, good, bad, medium. It’s as if you could plan what days to wear a smile and what days to growl at every passerby. Anyways, today was a bad day. Yes, I know this post is easily going out to the whole world. Whatever, I am probably only going to post a few times on here because I am seeing a better blog, it is just broken at the moment. I woke up, and I already feel the “late-rush.” It wasn’t a 10, it was probably @ a 6 or 7, still enough to make my stomach unsettled. I got dressed with just enough time to swing into the kitchen to grab a banana fir bkfast. Guess what? You know what….so I can stop talking in a baby voice. Nothin. So, I’m cool, and decide to roll with the punches. Chips are a respectable and fast meal…right. I mean I can only eat potatoes/rice/beans/veges/fruits about now. I am counting out, COUNTING OUT and my mom decides to nag @ me about eating all the chips. It DEFINITELY looks like I am eating so many chips. I shared that opinion with her, it didn’t go over to well. Lame. Then it wasn’t cold. Now, I admit, living in a desert I should expect to burn every day and sing praises and joys when the weather does follow my plans. But it freakin rained yesterday, it was hot today. Unstable? I think the weather should be more responsible….it isn’t going to be able to raise a generation of Americans this was (wow, it….by it I mean my hands @ first typed geberation….guess I’m still on the baby thing..AHHHHHHHHHH!!!! GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD!!!!) Ok, I biked to school eating a more sensible pear. Sensible…..I wonder if I am using that word right. A squishy, week-old, bruised, giant, brown pear is sensible like a gorilla making out with a dolphin. That’s right, I just went there, As I desperately attempted to eat the mess, I retreated for a garbage can. The world decided to not put one on my way. I think I might if I remember someday. I only have a quarter left in hs, but it could still be useful. Just an idea. Now picture this, I have my pear in my break hand (because my left hand drives oddly enough…and when I say drives, I mean touches the handlebar magically in way to swerve it in directions that I desire….I have a dirty mind btw, and now you will too if you go back and read that sentence, sorry, I warned you.) THEN a bus swerved in front of me to turn. It wasn’t like there was a walk light…no, buses rule, apparently. After almost crashing into a bus and ending life as I know it, I victoriously found a garbage can. You are jealous of my seeking skills. Yup. One thing good did happen, I made it back for me to cross the other crossing zone before the next light. Yay! I made it to the bike rack, and the black gate was out, so I already knew things were adding up to an ominous presence. But I did get a side spot (I mean it isn’t an insiders spot, but it isn’t an outsider’s either). I walked to class, and I ALWAYS see this guy who liked randomly talking to me in tack last year (like once or twice, but he ALWAYS says hi to me, and usually energetically). Today, it was an ish hi. That meant one of 2 things, I was ugly today(my outfit, hello, that was the girliest thing I have EVER said in my life) or today was a bad day. (I like to think of the latter being the reason) I got to class after rushing, and my teacher was late. Nice way to set an example dude, whatever, We went to class, and I still haven’t printed out the notes (but don’t worry, I wrote the task on my hand I WILL remember now). We moved seats yesterday, but I am including it now, just because it fits the tone of this passage (I just broke out the big-girl words! Crap, baby talk, “HEADBANGER!!! COME MY LOVE” I’m weird, ahahaha) Now I don’t sit by either of my talking buddies, sucks hard. Now it is weird because I sit across from them, but I can never talk, and ….and…..it just hurts (*tears up*) Yea. My voice was almost lost today, but not enough for it to be “oh, did you lose your voice”, just enough for people to think that I got a sex change or started taking testosterone because my voice was REALLY deep. Lameo. SIRENS IN THE STREET! Just felt like sharing that, I am listening to it now, as I write. Weird, real time, hmmmmmm, meditation. Hey, I’m ADD , what are you?!!!! Ok, so my voice was gay today, what else is new. Well, I went to seminary, and we only got to sing 2 verses (my teacher apparently hates my singing now, and I do too, because I took spring break off, and yup, can’t sing pretty anymore, at least not opera like). At least it passed by fast. Then came ASL. DUHN, DUHN, DUHN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I go there, and I see the guy I thought that I liked standing in the hallway, and OF COURSE I walk weirdly and OF COURSE 2 people walk in front of me and I get stuck behind. Thanks. There ain’t nothing like gettin a stuck behind a coupla slowpokers, ain’t nothing. Yet, I made it, striding away. (oh, and every time I try to not intersect with someone, I always do somehow, lame). I go there, and my teacher made us move. You gotta understand, I LOVED my spot. I had my bff there, and a billion other friends in my area. Then she moved me far away where I couldn’t see, I had a meltdown, the class thought I was a weirdo, I didn’t see (like I predicted) and I forgot my best friend’s birthday. Or actually, Idk if she is my bff anymore, we never hang out. Then again, I don’t really hang out with much anyone because I am a home-loner. Yea. I still call her that because we were that way until like 6th or 7th grade. We have a history, and we kinda have a dynamic friendship, but Idk, I am just really socially awkward or something. That’s how it goes down. I was SO EMBARRASSED that I forgot it (when she was one of the few people who remembered mine). Then it was over, asl. I went to lunch, and apparently this one girl (I already talked about on my other blog which I am cheating on right now because they are unavailable) I just decided to give up on her. She’s lame, and she doesn’t want to be my friend so whatever. I changed the desks kinda around. But not enough. So lunch passed without much event. I got my hw done and ate most of my lunch. OH MY GOSHHHHHHHHH MATH WAS THE MOST AWKWARDEST THING I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED IN MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don’t know how else to explain it. I was in there, and me and the guy were sitting by each other kinda. I thought he was gonna move to sit with his friends, but he didn’t. (Yay horray, I thought). Sorry, I am kinda trying to breathe, this is really hard for me. We sat there, and OF COURSE, I acted weirdly, because whenever I even suspect that a guy likes me, I act uncomfortably. Idk who gave me that gift, but I’d really like to sock whoever it was because girls are supposed to be graceful and guys awkward, other way around for me. He touched my hand, or maybe I and he mirrored me a few times. We said a few words. Then he said it. (Be warned, I MIGHT BARF). He said I love you, and MY MIND FREAKING JUMPED TO CONCLUSIONS. Stupid thing, sometimes I think it is broken. Then he wanted me to say it back and I aced all weird. WHY DID I ACT WEIRD! Because that is who I am: socially awkward, ESPECIALLY when it comes to love. Then the people behind us started whispering, and I knew what they were whispering about. Yes, I am not that much of an idiot. I wanted to cry, puke, barf, anything, just forget. We had a great math-class dynamic, and just yesterday he said that I was his favorite. I could tell that he was shutting down, so I buried myself in hw, until the bell rang. I told my teacher that I wanted to become an accountant, and he acted in disgust, of course he did, that’s how most people will, but it is what I’m good at. I went to Brit. Lit, and VOWED to move the seats. Seriously, I wanted to DIE right about there. I showed my teacher my paper that I typed for the second time (this one took less than 2 hours to type though). My friends in there talked while my teacher ripped my ahead-of-time outline to shreds. I told them that I wanted to major in accounting with a minor in art…and that my dad went to med school and became a pathologist (so then I should be rich…duhhhhhh) but that my family is thrifty. I think if I were named Tiffany that I wouldn’t have such a thrifty family….just saying. But it is good I guess, it’s gonna help @ college. Then I biked home where more people cut me off. There was an upside, computernerd01 posted an amazingly hilarious video, and that was good…but overall today sucked. Right now, as my mom is sick, I am listening on one ear headphones that already annihilated my right ear and need to exact the same measure on my left, they NEED to. Oh, and Ironically (to me) I finished the chips. Stupid computer making me fat. I am considering missing tomorrow, or at least math. We shall see. For now, I will exist in this humiliated state and hope for tomorrow to not come.

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