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I dd it!

20 miles yesterday!

After having a near heart attack from lead legs (tried to run to early, my body wouldn’t let me run @ 7 pm, had to wait until 8:15), and calling Sister Jones and Uncle Jason for advice, I got my run off.

Actually, I started pretty good, I was on a 10 minute pace, (1 time being in the 9’s) when I started.

The rest of the run was around 10:30….aside from the last 6 or 7 laps, those were in the 11’s.

Stupid me, I finished with a REAL last mile time of 6:34….but it could’ve been worse.

I pretty much died through the entire run.

I saw 2 groups of people for prom, and a lot of people around the neighborhood.

Nevertheless, I survived the humiliation, and finished around midnight.

Now I am working on staying awake.

Surprise! I have homework. (Hahah, I accidentally typed homo work @ first, lol).

Yea.

Math, ASL, English, and I haven’t made mom anything for mothers day.

I fail @ life.

I know, I usually don’t have homework.

But I do today.

So I should probably start working on it.

Should I?

Hmmmmm, naaaaaaa, I need to write about this first 😉

After that I will.

The run was crazy.

I actually used internal disassociation for my run.

I think that it isn’t the techniques that you use, but the pace that you set.

I remember one of the things I used to distract myself was a rhyme about running.

Since I had talked to Uncle Jason, he made me feel really bad about my running and nutrition, and sleeping habits.

I felt awful.

So, instead of lounging around a  pace and feeling bad about myself, here is the initial rhyme:

She’s a mess, She’s a mess, As a runner, She’s a mess. I really must confess, that she really is a mess.

Then I would make up rhymes about particular instances about this (in eating, sleeping, and training).

Oh!

I thought about something else.

So shall it be written, so shall it be done. So shall it be said, so shall it be run.

Yeah, you are jealous.

I know, it is a pretty cool rhyme.

Too bad.

Sister jones said she was going to run with me, she never did.

Well she said that she might.

Coolio.

Oh, and I think I just figured something out.

There was a girl who talked to me (a beehive who was riding he bike last night) and I think she lives in our neighborhood.

Scratch that, she does (wow, I’m out of it).

Well, they said her last name today, and it was the last name of my sunday school nemesis.

Yeah, wow that took me a long tome to figure out.

WOWOWOW.

I’m smart.

😉

ANYWAAAAAYs.

I just thought I’d say that.

I ran 20 miles.

It was pretty cool.

I DIED afterwards, it was seriously painful.

You know the reaction that my family (specifically my dad [ apparently dad isn’t the word spell check wants, it us a dyad, weird[)You want to know what he said?!!!

He said to shutup.

I mean, even 2-5 minutes would have been enough time.

But no, he starts coming to me after I was heaving and hoeing in pain, and tells me to shutup.

I was freakin pissed!

Who is he to tell me RIGHT after I finish to be quiet.

I  want him to run 20 miles, and then I’ll tell him “be quiet, you are gonna wake up the neighbors”

Lame.

So I stormed off, and the most awesome thing happened.

He said that the garage wouldn’t work…..and it did.

Precisely after he said it wouldn’t work.

That was one of the most legit things of my life.

Life rocks. =)

But the run itself went by pretty fast.

The parts that I remember the most were laps: 4, 7, 8, 11, 15, 19, 21.

It doesn’t even feel that long, now that I think about it.

I am READY to run the marathon now!!!!!!

Yeah, yeah!

And you know what, I don’t feel the slightest pang of guilt or regret for not going to prom.

I shouldn’t feel guilty, there wasn’t any guys smart enough to ask me, so their loss.

(actually, their monetary gain, and their experience lost)

I am going to get more times to dress up, hopefully.

If I don’t, I will not die.

There are people starving in Africa.

For reals though, I am complaining about having the worst social life when someone could be raping me, or forcing me into marriage (even though that’s what I am scared what will happen when I go to college), or making me work at a factory or something.

That is sad.

Still, it sucks to have AS, because it is known as the extreme male mind.

Lovely, I have a male mind.

Then they say @ church that gender is a character quality (for mothers day) and how am I not supposed to be confused?

Here I am, growing up in the Mesa bubble, looking like the pathetic loser that I am, and then being told that I am a daughter of God.

Don’t get me wrong:

I KNOW THAT HEAVENLY FATHER LOVES ME.

Without a doubt, I have a testimony of this because he has taken care of me my entire life, he has protected me in situations that should’ve gone awry, he has borne witness through the spirit, he has shone his power through his creations, and he has displayed his love through other people.

Still, I just am scared of the whole mom thing.

Cooking, cleaning, taking care of people.

I am selfish over food, I am lazy with my room, and I’m afraid of sick people.

Then I have a reason to be confused: AS.

It is so annoying, but idk if I should ask the bishop about it.

That’s another thing, they always tell you to talk to your bishop, but it is harder than you think to just go and talk to him:

*Because he always says “Do you want to talk to me about something?” in a voice like he already knows, he knows what I’ve done wrong and right, ho knows what trials I am going through. But does he? Idk

*Because it is hard to set up an appointment, hey, so bishop, i need to talk to you (as there are people walking by), “What do you want to talk to me about?” (I don’t what other to hear) so I try to talk in a whisper, and it just feels awkward to the extreme

*Because you think he’ll look at you differently. I am not stupid. Things happen, people do stuff, and they are viewed differently. Just the thought of sitting in the same room wool be unnerving.

*Because he could hurt my life and opportunities in it. For instance, if i could go to college or not, especially the one that I want to go to

That is why it is so hard to talk to the bishop.

I probably need to, @ the same time, I think I got rid of that thing.

UGH! This is so annoying.

Wait, why am I talking about talking to the bishop?

I need to backtrack, this was supposed to be about my 20-miler yesterday.

Well, I went in the pool (around 1 in the morning) and iced for 10 minutes.

Then I crashed.

It sucks, I don’t want to go to school tomorrow, but if my mom gets her way, I will.

And lame was his name-o.

(Ha, I win, computer).

Oh, and guess what is the weirdest thing I found out today.

You know how my math teacher calls me sally sometimes when he is a teensy bit annoyed, and you know how that one post about so and so who is the most hilarious person in the world and I am friends with him on fb, and I stalk his blog….he had that one post about the stalker girl…name changed to sally.

I accept the title of the weirdest person.

That just made me laugh this morning.

HA. HA. HA. HA.

Ok, I’m done now.

I ditched sunday school, and I sat on the stage for sacrament meeting.

Yea, I’m like more antisocial now, but I attribute this to not being asked to prom.

I really need to go now and do my homework, but it has been really fun talking to myself about random things in my (me sounds better) in me online journal.

Everyone was amazed that I ran 20 miles @ church today, and I jam happy, but seriously dead. (I reaaaaaally wish I could miss school tomorrow, it would pretty much make my life…..but that probably won’t happen.)

So, gonna go now. Bye!

Oh wait, psyche!

I wanted to get to 1500 words, that was 1450….NOT ACCEPTABLE.

Did you know that Madonna wasn’t asked to prom, she just stayed @ home alone that night.

I don’t feel like the biggest loser anymore!

Horray, this is something to celebrate.

Anyways, (I avoided that well). Bye!

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