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My summer

My summer.
I was lazy this summer, and I didn’t keep a blog.

However, I was out on the road, I had my computer, and I thought…why not…I’ll recollect this summer to the best of my ability as I set off to college.

Mostly an anti-boredom, preventative measure  although.

Anyways, I’ll start before summer had definitively started, because the main focus was my marathon at the time.

School was finishing up, and most my friends were focusing on prom, parties, and preparing for school…but my aim was to do the very best I could on this endeavor.  If that meant running a 20-miler on prom night despite weird stares from kids in my school, then so be it.

Time crept up and clawed me like a cat when I realized it was graduation night and I was going out into the big bad world.

Graduation parties and friends made that thought momentarily vanish as we celebrated the many years of hard work.

Speaking of hard work, I was running like a maniac…until it was taper time.

Ah, yes, the dreaded taper that every runner sweats over, that every runner fears, that every runner hates.

Not to be excluded, the taper was driving me mad. Running not as far or not  as fast as I had previously had meant a mental, physiological, emotional, and physical effect on me: insane in the brain, some weight gain, and lots of pain.

2 weeks of mind-numbing boredom passed soon enough, and the time to run arrived.

Our family packed and drove up to Utah  (and I got the whole back seat to myself…that’s the most important piece of information).

The hotel room we booked at the last moment was a steal! (putting aside the fact that I had to share a bed with my mom the first and last night because my sister’s were there).  It had a stove, microwave, full-size fridge and freezer combo, three flat-screen tv’s, wood table, and 2 showers.

The waiting period passed by  as quickly as it could for a greenie marathoner…and I spent my time enjoying the scenery and exploring the area.

That’s not to say there wasn’t struggles…I obsessed over different elements like hydration and elevation  and I couldn’t sleep for 2 nights afore.  Frustrated as I was, I decided not to let it impede this goal that I held in my heart ever since I started running as a little ninth-grader in junior high.
That morning I woke up at 3 am to go onto the busses and  went on a very special journey called my first marathon.

If this were a post about it, I would detail every last pinpoint about my run, but I will spare the specifics. All in all, I started out fine and around mile 11, I realized I was doomed. Cramps seized my quads and hamstrings and it was all I could do to just jog along until the end. I received a time of 4:21 and 3rd in my age division (out of the three girls who ran 18 and under).

We slept the night and woke-up the next morning for the car ride home. I could barely move…every muscle vowed an oath of significant pain and that is what I endured that day and for 2 more weeks afterwards. So, the marathon was done. When I was talking to my friends, teachers, and other various people during school…that was the only thing I really mentioned. What was I to do with my life now?
I begged my mom to let me go up to school and start a summer term at BYU-Idaho…she said no. On a few occasions, she begged me to get a job….I said no. A stand-off of wills. I think I “won” not really though, and I wish I would have had the guts to try for a job, but I didn’t. Instead of anything mind or body-promoting, I spent my time on the computer.

Addictions are commonplace for me now, really. When I was little and had a huge candy-bank and would eat a ton of candy if I got too focused on it…my mom blamed it on the sugar. After all, I was a skinny child, and it wasn’t doing me too much harm and all kids like candy. When I was a pre-teen and I watched tv incessantly…my dad blamed it on my autism and adhd. After all, they didn’t know what was going on in my brain and  I was seriously depressed, so instead of deal with that mess, they left the problem unaddressed. Yet, with the computer, they both knew I was addicted. Maybe some of it had to do with my obsessive personality, but there was no doubt about it.

My running was the only thing I did outside of the computer for the first month. Nothing else really mattered. All my friends were online, and there was nothing new outside of the internet. Sleep evaded me and I would stay up until midnight on the computer then “go to bed” and sneak back downstairs to be on the computer even more.

Then my dad made a deal with me that if I waited until 5 am (because the computer is evil when it’s dark outside? ) that I could get on it. I did the only natural and logical thing to react: stay awake until 5/6 am every day…fall asleep and wake-up at 1 or 2 pm and stay up all night on the computer with the added time.  It was a full-fledge addiction and everyone in my family knew it as well as me.

Life continued on, I ran every day…though my times slowly became slower….10 minute miles….11 minute miles….12 minutes miles, wait, what?!!!! 12 minutes, I had never in my life gone down to 12 minutes, I think even during the marathon I only had one or two late 11’s. Never  fear, I could still sprint; I felt skinny;  I lifted weights/did core; and I checked out my muscles  continuously.

4th of July came around and we had a family get together…and something changed in my mind. Suddenly, I wanted to be outside. Bike trips were a once or twice a week occurrence. I stumbled upon a nearby library and found an amazing park to read books at. At 110+ degrees outside, though, it’s kinda hard to work up the motivation to do that every day…especially when I already got my exercise anyways.

On one hand, I was getting outside occasionally for something other than running; on the other hand, I was still addicted to the computer. But, I guess something good came of that addiction because: Sometime in the middle of July (because I am not a specific-date-remembering person) I met someone really cool. See, I had just made a separate fb account of all of my aspie friends and I talked to them way more frequently than my  friends from school, church, and other various aspects of my real life. Since they talked to me more, they knew more about me. One guy  and I talked, and we found out that we lived approximately10 milesaway. But, something inside of me…a pit in my stomach warned me not to. Being inexperienced certainly has it’s drawbacks, like not being able to say no nicely. In my mind, I needed to be a certain person, whichever I was portrayed as at the moment. I hadn’t really grabbed a claim to fame, and niceness seemed the route to go. I wasn’t naturally skilled at speaking nicely. WP seemed like the place to post, and since I had a semi-repertoire there, I assumed I would get some help, especially if I had a catchy title.

A few regulars posted, and by then I had some answers. My policy on threads that I create is to respond to everything that anyone says. This guy named Trigas responded back to my response, which was pretty rare. It made my day, and I decided that if he ever had a thread that I would post on it. A little bit apprehensive though, because: he was a newer member, didn’t have a picture, and sent me a pm. Yet, it was a sweet message, so I decided he had good intentions. Stalking was my forte at the time being so I added him on fb and noticed that he started a thread. I *think* I was the first response and we chatted a lot on there. Turned out, that we had a few things in common. Nonetheless, he was nothing but a good friend to me until I he uploaded a picture of himself for another thread (and to help answer the original question). His eyes were blue. So blue , words can’t even describe the feeling other than I was overwhelmed.     Immediately, I responded to his pm and we started conversing that way.  We’d  spend time responding that way and then we started talking/flirting over the forums. Not thinking, and feeling competitive…I challenged him to a post war. He was at 300-something and I was at 7/8000-something and I semi-unfairly won by getting to 10,000 before he got to 1000, but he was cool about it. Through that post war, we nearly annoyed to death almost every member with our vigorous flirting and competitive strategies. By then, we had moved most of our interactions to facebook and had fun flirting for many hours and sending each other videos and pictures.

Meanwhile, I was still addicted to the computer, and college was fast approaching. Excited? Yes…prepared…not in the least.  I knew I was in farther than knee-deep and I knew I was avoiding my responsibilities…but the online world was so fun, so accepting, so carefree. That’s not to say that I didn’t eventually get ready, but I was cer That brings us to the last few days, I started to fade off of WP to minimize my addiction and  started packing for college. It was a  troublesome experience getting ready for college and the last day at home was the most trying. But I’m not dying and through all this I wasn’t lying.

This was my summer, trite and simple as it appears…it revealed some of my deepest joys (someone who understands me) and my deepest fears (not being able to run). I own up to it, and I just hope that I can do well at college now because I’ve been waiting my entire summer for it to start already.


Comments on: "My summer" (1)

  1. This sounds like quite the summer indeed! 😀
    It’s nice to see your side of the story through our meeting I had always been wondering what was going through your mind during those times. :chin:
    Overall I really liked it.

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